


I Can't Lose You

by Anneyy



Series: 🌙RobRae Week 2020 [1]
Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: F/M, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, RobRae Week 2020, haunted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23713576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anneyy/pseuds/Anneyy
Summary: Watching him made her realise something she never thought she'd feel, something she never thought she could gain.Part 1 of RobRae Week 2020. Spoilers for 'Haunted' (3x05).4/19: "I can't lose you."
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Raven, Robin/Raven, Robrae
Series: 🌙RobRae Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707925
Kudos: 36





	I Can't Lose You

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, here's my series on RobRae week 2020! enjoy :)

Raven watched as Robin fought in front of rusted and destroyed metal, eyes wide as she watched him bruise and scar. This place hasn’t been touched in _years_ , yet Robin was fighting his enemy. Her heart pounded, filled with worry as she eyed his battered body. His body flailing sporadically throughout the room. Arms and legs flailing as he was fighting. His eyes wide beneath the mask, trying to fight the enemy. 

Trying to fight _Slade._

But.

Slade wasn't there. 

“SLADE!” Robin screamed, his voice piercing through her worries. The room immediately flushed with green, as Starfire illuminated the room. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be finding the generators!”

“I don’t think there are any generators, man. We looked everywhere.” Cyborg voiced. 

“Slade must be cloaking them, just like he’s cloaking himself.” He gestured frantically, “That’s why you couldn’t see him.”

Raven watched helplessly as she watched him desperately trying to convince them of Slade’s plans. She could _feel_ his stress, the anxiety, the paranoia from his actions, her ability as an empath allowed her to feel the emotions that he felt. And she felt _pain._

“But… If I couldn’t see him, why could you?” Starfire said timidly. Her green eyes fell onto the rusted floor, awaiting Robin’s reply. 

“What are you trying to say?” He accused, “Are you saying that I’m making all this up?” Robin scoffed, “How can you say that? I didn’t-” 

“Robin, are you sure you really saw Slade?” Raven interrupted, trying to keep her voice as level as possible. Her eyes scouring over his bleeding figure, _Oh Robin…_ She thought, internally wincing at the injuries he sustained. _Oh Robin, what happened to you?_ “Are you sure?”

“Saw him?” He growled, “I fought him! You think I did this to myself?” His eyes staring furiously at them, at _her_. His expression filled with anger as he wished for them to understand the ordeal that they didn’t experience. 

“Dude, this is the only way out and we were standing here the whole time.” Beast Boy intoned, “No one got past us.” 

“No one was in here but us.” Cyborg said, reaffirming the Changeling's point. 

“I don’t have time for this.” He snarled, “I have to find those generators.”

“There are no generators,” Cyborg replied firmly. “There is no Slade.”

Raven watched as he edged back, his eyes narrowed in determination. His voice laced with paranoia and anger. Something that she has only witnessed a few times. She forced herself to remain emotionless, continuing to eye him carefully. 

Robin fumed vehemently, “I know what I saw!” The scars on his body stung open and exposed to the bare air, drying out the wound on his body. His muscles were screaming for rest, but he couldn’t. He had to stop Slade. “I have to stop him! I’m the only one who can!” His finger’s edged onto his weapon, pulling it out. “And I’ll take down anyone who gets in my way.” 

She felt her heart sink into the pits of her stomach, indigo eyes wide staring at the person in front of her. _This- This isn’t Robin_ , She thought desperately. _This wasn’t who he was._ “Robi-”. Ablaze of green interrupted her words, smoke lifting into the air as his body collapsed into a heap onto the floor. Raven gazed upon his tired body, sorrow filling her eyes as she watched her Best friend collapse into darkness. 

* * *

[]

Raven gazed upon his unmoving body, placing her hand on top of his green glove, gently stroking the backside of his hand. His skin felt warm in between the broken parts of his glove, torn to shreds by fighting an unknown enemy. His body was so… damaged, the bruises on his body began to blossom, beginning to darken underneath his skin. The scars began to stiffen, as his body attempted to heal them. Even in sleep, he still tried to fight against the restraints. “Oh Robin,” She whispered, “What happened to you?” 

The double medical doors hissed open, “Rae, get in here!” Cyborg called. She nodded, taking one last look at him before flying out of the room. “I can’t find anything abnormal in his readings.” 

Raven bit her bottom lip, “There must be something.”

“There is nothing, he’s restrained and out cold.” He replied sourly. 

“But must we keep him restrained?” Starfire implored. “He is hurting and he is asleep. He won’t be of any-” 

“He tried to threaten us Star, hurt or no hurt… sleep or no sleep, he’s dangerous.” Cyborg replied firmly, looking straight at her. 

Starfire glared, “Robin is not dangerous.” 

“Dangerous? The guy totally flipped-out cuckoo labonza!” Beast Boy affirmed. “We can’t let him out.” 

“We’ve got to run more tests on him,” Raven intoned, Cyborg, nodding in reply. “We’ve got to figure out what’s going on.” She gazed upon the dark infirmary wall which housed Robin, worried fresh in her mind as she wished to help him. 

Wished to help her friend. 

“Then run your tests, this is Robin. We must find out what’s wrong!” Starfire demanded, her eyes briefly turning green in anger. “You must work quicker!”

“We’re working as quickly as we can,” Cyborg responded. A machine clicked in the background, heavy steps walked towards it. “The blood work has come back.” 

“Then you have found out what’s wrong? Please, tell me you have uncovered the cause for his strange behaviour?” 

“So far, everything looks normal,” Raven replied, gazing upon Starfire’s worried face. 

“But he is not normal, Robin would not do these things. He would not threaten his friends…” Starfire pleased before transitioning to a low voice. “...He would not threaten me.” She eyed them angrily, “There _is_ a cause! And you _must_ find it!” 

“Starfire, I’m sure there is a good explanation okay?” Beast Boy voiced tiredly, “Maybe Slade is really invisible and we just can’t-”

“No.” Cyborg broke in, “He still would’ve shown up on my radar.” He sighed, I’m telling you, _he_ wasn’t there.” 

“Starfire, we will-” The heart machine interrupted her words, Robin’s heart rate on the infirmary wall fluctuated frantically, the high pitched beeping pierced the air. “His heart rate is off the chart.” She voiced, distressed at the sudden spike of the machine. _Robin!_

“Blood pressure, neural connectics… most people can’t survive that kind of stress.” Cyborg said, voiced laced with frantic worry.

The sound suddenly stopped and a high pitched screaming filled the room. The angry line on the screen no longer moves sporadically, refusing to move as it continues on the widescreen. Raven’s watched as his heart flatlined. _Robin!_ Her heart stopped in her chest, as grief climbed in her throat. _I can’t lose him_ , she intoned desperately to herself. 

_I can’t lose him._

“Robin!” gasped Starfire, running towards the do medical beds. Raven flew quickly beside her, gaping at the scene that was in front. Robin wasn’t here. The only thing that was left was a loose tangle of straps hanging limply and the EEG strings sprawled lifelessly on the bed. 

_Robin!_ She gasped internally. Raven knew that he wasn’t going to survive long with the way his heart was beating. There was too much stress… too much stress on his body to be normal. It would kill him. _I’m going to lose him._ She thought, her heart sinking into the pits of her stomach. _I’m going to lose my Best friend._

“But where is Robin?” Starfire wondered, scooping up the EEG strings in her hands. 

“There!” Cyborg pointed up at the vents. The metal above thumbed abnormally, the weight of Robins climb clanging the vents above. Beast Boy immediately transfigured into a hummingbird, attempting to fly after him, to no avail. The vent doors abruptly shut, as did the window and doors behind them, caging them inside the infirmary. 

“Robin’s activated the quarantine protocol,” Raven stated, typing onto the computer. _Dammit!_ “Nothing can get in or out.”

Starfire glowed green, “We shall see about that!” She growled, shooting a bolt of energy.

The green bolt ricocheted off the walls, searing marks within the infirmary’s confinement.

“Careful Star! You’re going to kill one of us!”

Starfire slammed her fists into the metal barriers, “We must find Robin!” Grunting in pain as she desperately wished to find their teammate. Cyborg walked over, silently consoling her before attempting to saw through the metal.

Raven watched as they all desperately attempted to find a solution. Sparks of blue flared into her vision, sending the smell of burnt metal into the air. She knew that he couldn’t survive, she knew that his human self could not sustain that sort of strain. 

And there was nothing she could do about it. 

Her mind blanked, an idea sparked into her head. _Damn the risks!_ She intoned sourly. _Robin was going to die if she didn’t do this._ She placed herself into her mediation position, her cloak draping over her body. 

“What are you doing?” Beast Boy questioned, “This is no time to be meditating.” 

“Finding Robin.” She bluntly replied. “Azarath Metrion Zinthos.” Her eyes glowed white as she felt her bird counterpart exist in her body. Phasing through the barriers to find Robin. The blackbird flew quickly through the metal vents, finding Robin at the end of the vent system. _“Robin. I’m here to help.”_

“Raven!” He screamed. She watched his memories flood into her mind, images of the metal mask staring back at her. Taunting her in the static photos of him. “What are you doing? You have to get out!” She could hear him panting between his words, “Slade! He’ll destroy you!” Raven could feel his erratic heartbeat in his chest, flooding adrenaline into his system. 

_“Robin, your heart.”_ She telepathically voiced. _“You’re in danger. You have to trust me. Slade isn’t here. He’s not in the tower.”_ She watched on as his childhood memories filled her mind. 

Stone stairs. Cave. 

Batman. 

“No. He’s here, I’ve seen him!” He yelled desperately.

Blinding lights, circus music. 

His parents… falling to their death in the circus. His eyes wide as he watched them plummet onto the concrete floor below. 

_“Then let me see, through your eyes.”_ She pleaded. 

She internally gasped, as she _felt_ every emotion he had ever felt. Everything that he had ever witnessed, the pain that radiated from his mind and anger that she would never understand. She watched on as the memories flashed in front of her eyes, and she _understood_ the pain that he felt his entire life. Raven knew what that felt like. 

Pain, anger, sadness. 

Grief, guilt, hopelessness. 

Watching as everything she loved was stripped away from her. Trying to grow up without parents to care for her. _Oh, Robin, I’m so sorry_. She thought inwardly. Raven felt him giving her control, she blinked, adjusting to the darkness inside the vent. She inhaled slightly, attempting to calm his beating heart. She could feel the tiredness emanating from his wounds, “ _See Robin, there’s no one here.”_ Raven voiced. _“There never was.”_

Raven turned back towards the fan, gasping as she watched a fist come into contact with her head. Punching her out of Robin’s consciousness. “SLADE!” She yelled hoarsely, grunting in pain as she laid on the cold floor. The feeling of the punch radiating upwards on her jaw. 

Cyborg ran over, “You saw him?” 

She nodded, “I don’t know if he’s real or not but… he’s real to Robin.” She said, trying to shake off the shock of seeing Slade. It felt so… _real._ “And that’s all that matters.” Raven turned to face her friends. “The stress on his brain is destroying his body. Robin truly believes that he’s fighting Slade. And… Slade is winning.” 

Raven placed herself into the medical bed, she could feel his _feelings_. Their minds connected, it created something. And she could feel _him_ , against the cold metal floor. His tired aura radiating from the bond as he continued to fight with Slade. She placed herself into her meditation position again, attempted to access his mind… but it was closed off. 

He couldn’t give her control. 

But she could still feel his injuries, his hurt. Every action he took against the enemy, she could feel it. His body slammed against the metal walls, his skull crushed against the force. He was weak, she could feel it. 

“ _No.” Robin said weakly, “No end.”_ He groaned, tired and refusing to accept defeat. _He’s not going to make it_! Her mind screamed _We’re going to lose him, I’m going to lose him!_

She choked, feeling a new wave of injuries bruise his battered body. “Robin… I can feel him. He’s not going to make it.” Raven inhaled slightly, her hand shaking from the ordeal. Fear gripped her soul as she watched her teammates stare at her. 

Starfire gaped at her, eyes filled with unspoken concern and frustration. “Then let us end this battle. Now!” She brought her hands to the floor, ripping a hole through the infirmary before flying towards the basement. 

_“Slade… Stop.” Robin choked._ Raven felt fatigue wash over his body. “We need to help him, _now!_ ” She voiced to them, “Come on.” 

She rushed down the hole that Starfire made, with Beast Boy and Cyborg closely behind her. Her heart hammering in her chest as worry climbed in her throat. Light dimly shone out of the open door, She saw Starfire quickly fly through, yelling his name and him yelling something in response. Raven followed behind, looking down at the metal staircase as fatigue consumed his body. 

Raven gazed upon his collapse figure in Starfire’s arm, a spark of jealousy ignited in her chest but she pushed it down. Why should she be jealous? She doesn’t get to be jealous of someone who wasn’t hers. She nodded slightly at the sight, before prying her gaze away, placing her hood down and allowing her purple hair to frame her face. She looked on as she watched Starfire bring Robin’s mangled body to the infirmary. 

It was over. 

All of it. 

* * *

[]

Minutes dripped into hours, hours turned into days and still she couldn’t drive out the fear that gripped her since Slade. Since Robin almost died. Her mind could never forget the fear that grasped at her chest, the fear that drove her to meld minds with Robin. Every time she closed her eyes, the mask of Slade would be staring back at her. The image of the red flatline and the high-pitched sound waking her up. 

She almost lost him. 

She had been _scared_. Raven scoffed but knew that any form of denial wouldn’t do her any good. She had _cared_. Cared too much for someone that would never be within her clutches. He was her Best friend, all of them were but with him… everything was easier. He understood her even before she delved into his mind, and exposed his painful memories to her. Robin always knew when she needed space or when she needed a laugh. He, somehow, always knew how to make her smile. 

Raven forced herself up from her bed, the moonlight shining through her broad window. Her door hissed open as she quietly made her way to the living room. The darkness flushed the room, the only light was from the moon that pierced through the darkness. She gently filled the kettle up with water, allowing it to boil. She reached up towards the cupboard to her mug, silently sitting on the top shelf. Plopping her tea bag into the ceramic cup, she waited for the silent whisper of the kettle to alert her of boiling water. 

“What are you doing up so late?” A voice asked she looked over, seeing Robin descend the stairs into the living room. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” She murmured, pouring the water into her mug and watching the tea leaves seep into the water. 

“I couldn’t sleep.” He replied, walking over to her and reaching for a mug. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all, be my guest.” 

“Normally I would have coffee but… I think it’s a little too late for that.” He lightly joked. 

She nodded silently, grabbing her mug and walking over to the sofa. The darkness still encased the room as the clouds partially covered the silver light. Raven gazed upon the city, the lights of the high rises illuminating the night sky. She could hear the water cascading down into his mug, and his footsteps as he walked towards her. 

“What are you thinking about?” He questioned, looking over at her face. 

“Anything.” She shrugged. “I haven’t been able to sleep for a few days.” 

“Nightmare?”

She bit her lip and nodded “Kind of.

“What about?” 

“Anything.” She repeated quietly. A comfortable silence caked the pair of them as they sat staring at the city. Raven could feel his calm through the bond she had created. She brought her gaze upon him, his face illuminated by the moon. He wasn’t wearing his mask or his uniform. He sat comfortably in his black shirt and sweatpants. She wondered what it was like to be tormented by an enemy, somebody who refused to leave someone's consciousness. She wished to know what it was like to be _haunted_ , by someone who was dead. 

“What is it?” He asked quietly. “You’re thinking about something…I can feel it.” 

She pursed her lips, “When Slade invaded your mind, were you scared?”

“More than anything.” He assured, slightly shuddering at the memory. “I felt like I was going insane, and that I couldn’t _control_ anything I did.” Robin broke his gaze from her, staring out of the large window. “I pushed myself to the absolute limit, trying to fight something that wasn’t there.” He pursed his lips. “Nobody understood, and I felt _hopeless_.” 

Raven nodded slowly, “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I wish I could have done more.” 

“You did enough Raven.” He assured her. “When I felt you in my head, I felt peace for a while. I felt… okay.” 

She looked at him, the feeling of confusion washing over her. “But I invaded your privacy.”

“You did but… I let you. I wouldn’t have let you if I didn’t trust you.” Robin voiced, sipping on his tea. 

“I thought…” She began before being interrupted. 

“You thought wrong. Simply put it, without you, I don’t think I would have survived.” He said, “I thought that I was going to die, that I would lose you forever.” 

“I thought I was going to lose you too.” She whispered hoarsely. Clutching the mug in her hand, “I thought I was going to lose you too.” Raven looking at him. “I was scared, and I know it isn’t like me but I was. I was scared that I was going to lose you.” She spoke, “I just... I can’t lose you, Robin. I can’t.” 

Robin watched as her eyes filled with pain as she talked, her indigo eyes tired from the countless nights of sleepless nights. “Rae, it’s okay now. I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know, but in that moment, in that _moment_ , I really did think that you were going to die.” She replied hoarsely, “And I can’t get that fear out of my head.” 

“I promise I’m not going to go anywhere.” 

_Unkeepable promises._ She scoffed. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” 

“I promise I’ll try my hardest.” Robin intoned, eyeing her. Watching her bite her lip.“I don’t want to lose you either. I can’t.” Her knuckles were white from gripping her mug, he reached out to her mug, placing it down on the table, forcing her attention back onto him. “Promise me as well, that you’ll try your best. I care about you Rae, I can’t lose you.” 

Raven looked at him and nodded her head slowly. “I will.” She whispered, she felt his strong arms wrap around her shoulders. Pulling her into a hug. She could feel her heartbeat from his chest, and it calmed her. The memory of the angry flat line began to dissipate. _He was alive. It was okay._ She thought. She felt relief wash over her as she shuffled closer into his embrace. The warmness of his hug caused her eyes to dim. Fatigue from the sleepless nights began to fade in, as she felt her head lean against his chest. “Thank you for not dying.” She whispered slowly, “Thank you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts? hope that was alright! 
> 
> tomorrows prompt i'll be posting "Scars." hope y'all have been doing alright at this time, i know it's hard but in the end, it'll be okay.


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